The Misadventures of an Ordinary Schoolgirl 1: An American Fascination
by Paint-The-World-Mad
Summary: When America (Alfred F. Jones) decides to attend a year of high school in suburban Florida, he never expected to attract the eye of one of his fellow seniors, much less that she would follow him to a world conference. Rated T for language and because I'm paranoid. Human and Country names used. (slight USUK and PruCan)
1. Chapter 1

(A/N) so originally this was going to be a one-shot, but now it has 15,000+ words so that didn't really happen. So I split it up so you didn't have to read all of that in one thing... cool beans and such. Um... this is mostly a crack fic, but I am planning on making it into a series. Also Meg (main character) is an OC. That's all you really need to know, enjoy!

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><p>His name was Alfred. That was all anyone knew about him. He moved into our town right before senior year started. He didn't have any family, and we rarely saw him outside of school. He was a really sweet kid, but I wouldn't put it past him to pull a gun on someone. In fact, there were rumors that he kept a hand gun under that huge leathery jacket he always wore. We don't know where he came from, we don't know where he plans on going, and we don't know what the hell he's doing here.<p>

All this accounting, he was still frakking sexy. He had shaggy, dirty-blond hair that he was constantly sweeping out of his eyes. He had gorgeous dark blue eyes that I often caught myself staring at. He did wear glasses, and typically I found that to be a setback, but holy hell I loved them. They just suited him perfectly. All my friends say I have a strange taste in men, and honestly I can't argue. But he still is gorgeous. Of course it's not like I have a crush on him or anything, it's nothing like that…. Okay maybe just a little. But you can't blame me! He's my lab partner in AP Chemistry so I think I've gotten to know him pretty well. Of course, he never talks about his past, I suppose I don't blame him. However, Ruby (my best friend) found out that I was sort of friends with him and now she's been egging me to get some backstory out of him. I can't betray him like that, can I?

Well, seeing as how I just walked in the door of my Chemistry class, I'd better choose quickly. Do I pry into his personal life, or do I try and be a decent friend? Oh gosh he's already here. Think fast!

"Hey, Meg!" He called. I smiled and sat down next to him.

"Hey, Alfred. What's up?" I'm trying to sound nonchalant. Am I overdoing it? I'm so screwed.

"Not a lot. My brother came down from Canada for the week, so we're meeting up for lunch. It should be fun, I haven't seen him in ages!" His eyes were brighter than I'd ever seen them. Also, I had no idea about this whole 'brother' thing.

"That sounds awesome! I didn't know you had a brother." This whole backstory thing was going pretty smoothly.

"Yeah, divorces are hard."

"Oh…" poor kid. My parents were happily married, so I really couldn't sympathize. "I'm sorry." I'm so lame.

"It's okay. It's been good for both of us." He smiled at me. I think I melted, but I'm not really sure. He has such a sweet smile… "Speaking of lunch, do you have plans today?" He thrust that on me rather quickly.

"Um… no, not really. Why?" dammit, why was I so awkward?

"Them would you come with me? I think you'd really like my brother." Was he asking me out? Granted, with his brother… but still! Was this a reality?!

"Yeah, sure, that would be fun." I smiled back at him. Was he intimidating? I'd never really noticed, but right now the palms of my hands were sweating something awful. What was it about him? He was just so different from other boys, no, just other people in general.

"Sweet! Meet me out front. There's a good chance Matt, That's his name by the way, will bring his boyfriend so, that doesn't make you uncomfortable, does it?"

"No, not at all." His brother was gay? What else? His boyfriend was an albino foreigner who was addicted to pasta?! What had I gotten myself into?

The bell rang for class to start. Fortunately, today was a lecture day, so I had an excuse not to talk and to stew in my own thoughts.

…

After class I found Ruby. She was onto me in seconds. "Spill."

"What?"

"Something happened in Chem, so spill."

I could feel the blood rushing to my face, which was a telltale sign that yes, something had happened. "Alfred asked me out…" I half whispered. The idea still felt weird to me.

"OH MY- WHAT?! Oh gosh what did you say? Where are you going?" Ruby was clearly overexcited. I had no doubt that by tomorrow morning the entire school would know.

"We're just going to lunch with his brother and his brother's boyfriend, so it's not that big of a deal."

"So he has a brother? OMG did you get backstory? Omg tell me nooooowwwwww."

"Chill out! No, no I didn't. Well, sorta. He has a brother who lives in Canada, and their parents are divorced. That's all I know! Promise!" I held my hands up to show surrender of sorts. Ruby was a little bit psychopathic at times.

"Hmm. Well. That doesn't really give us a lot of info," Ruby mused. Maybe I shouldn't have told her. Who knows what crazy nonsense rumors will pop up now? "But omg you're going out with him! You've only been dying to for like, ever!"

"Not forever, I've only known him for four months," I insisted. Which was entirely true. It's January eleventh today, so since school started in September(ish) it's been about four months.

"That's forever in teenager years!" Ruby insisted. I had to smile, she was so overdramatic. Which was okay, it suited her. "Now come on, we're going to be late for English." She grabbed my hand and began running down the hall. I sighed quietly. She would never slow down. Ever.

English was… well, English. AKA, boring. Also ridiculous. Why did it matter whether or not you could diagram a sentence? (Also there are no hot boys in English. Absolutely. None.) So when the dreaded class came to an end, I was extraordinarily relieved. Not to mention, my double-date with Alfred was now. NOW. Oh hell am I ready? Psychologically?

Ruby wished me luck and pushed me out the front door. I blinked. The sun was so damn bright. Did it really have to be there? I needed to find Alfred. Uggggg. There were so many people. There he was! The noonday sun was glaring off his hair and oh gosh, my hands were sweating again. I walked up to him. "Alfred?"

"Hold on just a sec, Mattie." He put a hand to the phone he was holding. "Matt's already there, and he's ordering. What do you want?

"Um, what is there?"

"It's a burger joint… so…"

"Um… well I'd like… something with bacon?" SOOOO LLLAAAAAAMMEE. That was me.

"Great." He put the phone back to his ear. "Also I need a bacon burger for my date." He sighed, "Yes, I got a date … Well I couldn't very well third wheel with you and-" he sighed again, "Just order the dumb burger Matt." He hung up and smiled sheepishly. "So, I may have asked you just 'cause I don't have a date and Matt does. I'm sorry…" he trailed off and scratched the back of his head nervously.

"It's totally fine." I smiled at him. Typically I would have been offended, but it didn't really bug me this time. Maybe I was more head-over-heels for this guy than I thought I was.

"Awesome. Right this way then," he grinned, grabbed my hand, and led me through the parking lot. So he had a car? Nice. When we stopped I realized it wasn't just any car. Alfred had somehow acquired a black '69 Dodge Charger.

I gasped slightly. "How did you get your hands on this?" I squeaked. I desperately wanted to run my hands over its glossy hood.

"I'm a bit of a collector," Alfred admitted.

"A collector? At eighteen?" I challenged.

"Yeah… well you recognized it."

I blushed. I blush a lot. "Well, I'm a bit of a car geek…"

"All the better. Climb in." He grinned, walking around to climb in the driver's side. I could barely contain my excitement as I got into the passenger's side. I was going on a date with Alfred in a sweet car. AND I was meeting his brother. Though I was not as insistent on learning about his life as some, I was still insanely curious.

We pulled into the parking lot of a little, locally run burger joint. My nerves were setting in again. I needed to relax. There was no way in hell I would make it through this date like this. No. Way. He took my hand again and we walked in. I'd been here before, and I loved the smell. Unlike most fast-food places, this one legitimately grilled its burgers, which made the whole place smell really nice.

Alfred glanced around. "Dammit, where is he?" He muttered.

"Oi! Al! Over here!" Alfred broke into a smile and guided me across the resteraunt. A blond boy ran to greet us. He looked a great deal like Alfred, except with slightly longer hair. And by slightly I really do mean only a little. The two brothers embraced. "It's good to see you, Al."

"Likewise, Mattie."

"HEY. Only I get to call him that!" The voice came from inside the booth Matt had previously been seated at, so logically, it had to belong to Matt's boyfriend. Remember my internal rant about Matt's boyfriend turning out to be some freaky albino foreigner addicted to pasta? Well, I got one thing right. He was German. Or from somewhere where they spoke German, but oh gosh his accent was thick.

"Chill, Gilbert! He's my brother, I can call him whatever I want!"

"Psssshhhh," A head popped out of the booth. TWO. I got TWO things right. 'Gilbert' was albino. Like, legitimately. His skin was paler than pale, his hair was snowy white and his eyes were red. Not cherry red, but sort of a maroon red. "Are you going to sit down or not?" he was smirking. Was he one of those people who just had a permasmirk that never, under any circumstances, left their face?

Matt smiled and tasseled the albino's hair. Alfred gestured for me to climb into the both, so I did. He followed me in. "So. Introduce me to your date." Matt smiled. He was so much quieter than his brother. And he seemed almost…_fluffy._ I know it sounds strange but that's the only way I can describe him.

"Matt, this is my friend Meg. Meg, this is my twin brother Matthew." Matt reached across the table and shook my hand.

"And I'm his awesome boyfriend, Prrr- GILBERT." The albino shook my hand vigorously.

"Nice to meet you two," I smiled at them. Or tried to. Dammit why was I so awkward?

"So, how are things?" Alfred asked as a waitress gave us our food. I decided to stay quiet, these two needed to catch up.

Matt winced. "Not great. I'm doing my best to keep all out war at bay, but I don't know if I can keep this up much longer."

Gilbert put his arm around Matt's shoulders. "You can handle this, you're too awesome not to."

"But what if I can't? What if Quebec leaves? I won't be French anymore! I don't want to stop being French. I don't want to let Papa down!" Matt's face collided with the table. Gilbert sympathetically patted Matt's back. I, for one, was genuinely confused. I mean, I knew that Matt lived in Canada, but he was talking like he owned the place! And if Quebec did secede, that wouldn't affect the culture of a single person, would it?

"Maybe we can talk about it at the conference tomorrow," Gilbert said.

"Conference? Wait, that's tomorrow? Dammit I totally forgot!" Alfred seemed pretty worked up over this. What kind of conference could he possibly be attending?

"School has just caught all of your tiny brain into its massive, swirling web of doom," Gilbert smirked (harder?). "I cannot understand why you would choose to go back."

"I hate to admit it, but it really has taken up most of your time. We had to push the meeting back until after you got out, and convincing Ger- Ludwig to hold the conference later was not easy." Matt turned an awful shade of red. Was he not used to telling his brother off? And what did they mean by 'going to school'? Had he not always been at school?

"It's just nine months. Then I'll be out. And I've already done four, so just be patient. Oh wait there's a meeting too?" he groaned. "I am so behind…"

"Yeah, at Francis' place."

"Great… what time?"

"Four."

"Can I come?" Gilbert gave Matt (very likely) his best puppy-dog eyes.

"No!"

"But I'm dissolved! I don't even have any influence anymore!" What the hell did Gilbert mean by "dissolved"? a person can't dissolve unless you soak their body in acid for several days… but that's beside the point. Clearly he wasn't physically dissolved, so what did he mean?

"Yes you do! You could go tell your brother everything that we said and-"

"Gosh guys, this isn't WWII anymore." How on earth is that a valid comeback?! None of us were even alive during WWII. Gilbert looked older; it's possible he was alive during the Cold War, but not the Second World War. Maybe it was just some inside joke. "And besides, do you really think I would betray Matt like that?" he asked, nuzzling the side of Matt's face with his nose. Matt smiled sheepishly as his cheeks turned hot pink.

"Gil!" he protested. I smiled. I tried to stop myself, but they were just so cute! "So Meg. We've been going on about our various ridiculous issues for a while, what's new with you?" oh no. I was required to talk? I was so terribly awkward… and lame.

I tried to swallow my introvertism. "Not a lot. I suppose the French Fair is coming up."

Matt's face lit up. "You speak French?"

I was totally taken aback. "Well, um.. not wonderfully but technically I can…" I stammered. See? AWKWARD.

"Don't listen to her. She's amazing. Top of the class." Why was Alfred defending me? Moreover, how the hell did he know that? He wasn't in ANY language classes, and I'm not aware that he's been stalking me. OH GOSH. Has he been stalking me?

"Really? That's awesome!" Matt's eyes were shining. He was really passionate about this whole "French" thing. Maybe it had to do with Quebec. No, that was ridiculous.

"Yeah, she's pretty great." Alfred smiled. "of course, she'd have to be, to be friends with me."

"Heeeyyyyy" I protested instinctively. The three boys around me laughed. I couldn't help but smile. There was something about the other two, something that set them apart. Possibly that same thing that had always set Alfred apart from everyone else. If only I could put a finger on what that was…

"This is delicious," Gilbert said through a mouthful of burger.

"Alfred recommended it," Matt said.

Alfred blushed slightly.

I repeat.

ALFRED BLUSHED.

Just a little, but I made my stomach do all these flip-flop things. And oh my gosh he's just too perfect to be real.

"Oh, hey Mattie. Can you… um… if you see Iggy before tomorrow, can you…" Alfred's blush depended to a dark red. "Can you ask him to bring my cat?" He looked down, obviously extraordinarily embarrassed. Gilbert tried to stifle a laugh.

"Your cat? Why don't you have it? _Are you lonely?_" gilbert's babying voice was so amazing. And by amazing I mean horrible. And by horrible I mean… humiliating. Oh gosh I shouldn't be laughing. Fortunately Matt was trying not to laugh as well…

"I miss him! I haven't seen him in four months! Just hold your smirk for two minutes and imagine that."

"It's okay Al. I'll tell him." Matt smiled sweetly, before his face screwed up in confusion. "But why does England have your cat?" Did he just say England? Wasn't that a country? I'm so confused. Gil and Alfred were obviously having similar feelings as I was, or at least that's how I translated them. Gilbert was staring him down as if willing him to remember something before jabbing him in the ribcage with his elbow.

Obviously that worked. "I mean Arthur!" Matt squeaked. "Why does Arthur have your cat?" he took care to emphasize the word Arthur. I was still confused. How does England translate to Arthur? I mean, Arthur is a pretty stereotypical Englishman's name, but that's no reason to call him England outright. Unless this had something to do with Matt talking about Quebec like he owned Canada... Which on second thought has no relation whatsoever. Maybe I do need to get screened for ADHD after all.

"It's because my apartment doesn't allow pets, and our cats get along really well, so I figured it wouldn't be too much of a hassle for him to take him… Gilbert why the hell are you snickering?" Alfred demanded before shoving the last bite of his _third_ hamburger into his mouth. And if that wasn't enough, he had another one still waiting to be eaten. Honestly, if he ate like this all the time, it's a miracle he's not on the plus side of 300 pounds.

The albino was snickering something awful. "It's just... Your cats get along! Oh that's just too precious!" he exclaimed before bursting out in all-out laughter (that is, if you consider "kesesese" to be laughter). I didn't get it. Why was that funny? My aunt's cat got along really well with the cat next door. How was this any different? But, there seemed to be something. Al looked ticked, Gil was laughing his ass off, and Matt was trying REALLY hard not to smile.

That random, little, idiot, reckless part of me decided to speak up. "I didn't know you had a cat. What's his name?"

"Oh you're screwed now!" Gil blurted before laughing even harder.

"Uhhh…" Alfred threw Matt a 'help me!' glance, which Matt shrugged off. "his name is…" was he embarrassed? About his cat's name? they've all got ridiculous names, surely it can't be that bad. Alfred cleared his throat. "His name is Americat."

"Americat?" the word came out too fast. Oh no oh no oh no I'm screwed! I'm such a jerk! Dammit Meg you just don't question the manes of people's cats like that! Especially the cat of the cute boy you're on a first date with! Good grief girl, get a grip!

"Yeah…" Al sheepishly replied. "It's a long story." I don't doubt it.

"Ah. I won't pry then." I smiled as 'forget about it' as I could, but honestly I suck at cover stories. FRAKKING HELL I'M SO CURIOUS RIGHT NOW I'M GOING TO HURT SOMETHING. But I can't let him know that, I'll look like such an insensitive person! UGGGG why does this have to be so complicated?

As a side note, Al just finished his fourth burger.

He looked down at his watch. "Shit, we're going to be late. Thanks for lunch you two." Al and I stood up. I began walking out, but Matt started talking to Al.

"You're going to stay the night, right?"

"Can't. AP History test. Which I'm going to ACE by the way."

Matt giggled. "Just be careful on the essay questions. And don't write 'I' or 'that prat, England.'"

Al rolled his eyes. "I'll try to. Later dudes!" Alfred and I left.

Okay but why would anyone write 'I' on a history test? Was his an inside joke or something? They probably all were, but that's a lot of inside jokes. And ridiculous ones might I add. Then again, most inside jokes seemed ridiculous from the outside.

Once we were out of the building and driving back to school, Al apologized to me. "I'm sorry about them; you probably didn't understand much of that."

"No, not really." Alfred looked sad. Oh no. I've hurt his feelings. "But I had fun. It was nice meeting your family." I tried to smile reassuringly. I don't know if that worked, though.

"I had fun too," he smiled at me. Bloody hell he was adorable. "Do you want to do this again? I mean, not necessarily with my family, but you know."

"I would love to," maybe he's just as awkward as me. I'm okay with that.

"Great. I'm busy today and tomorrow as you know, but how about Friday?" he was asking me out again!

"Yeah that sounds great." Great was an understatement.

"Awesome. Do you just want to meet me after school then?" he asked as we pulled into the school parking lot.

"Sure, that works." It was all I could do to keep from squealing as we climbed out of his car and ran into the school.

"if you hurry, you might not be late." Al said as he took off. "See you, Meg!" he called over his shoulder.

"Later!" I replied before running to class.

…

Ruby needed to know all the details. Obviously. She begged, so I delivered. On the way home from school we discussed what any of these 'inside jokes' could possibly mean, and me also theorized what the meetings could be about.

We came up dry.

The best answer Ruby could give was that they were members of some secret agency. I have my doubts about that theory. Granted, I wouldn't really know so… I guess it's possible. A little ridiculous, but possible.

"Okay but was his brother hot?" Ruby asked.

"Uh, well he's Al's identical twin so yeah... he's also gay… maybe bi, I don't really know. He has a boyfriend." I stuttered. How exactly was I supposed to reply to that?

"Oh… is his boyfriend hot?"

"Yeah I guess. He's a German albino, so if you find that attractive then sure." Ruby looked down sadly .

"What odd people," she muttered. "But you're going out with him again on Friday. YAY." She threw her hands up in mock celebration. How did I ever become friends with her? Then again, she was the best friend I could ask for.

…

Okay so now I'm really confused. Al is always a super perky, smiley, happy person, but he's practically falling asleep. He stumbled into class just in time, and sat down with his head buried in his hands. He looks like hell. Except really, really… I don't know… he looks older. A lot older. That could be due to the outfit he's wearing. It's an interesting change from baggy jeans and a leather jacket. He's wearing – okay I only saw this for a second and I don't quite believe what I saw but this is what I saw – a tan, formal, military-looking uniform. Lots of pockets, strap across the shoulder, belt around the waist. Dress shirt, tie, dress shoes, and what looks like some variety of bomber jacket. It's brown and has sort of a fuzzy interior, with a star on the breast and a plane silhouette on the sleeve and oh gosh oh gosh oh gosh. Does this have something to do with that meeting? (also he looks majorly hot, so I'm not complaining.)

Right after class I decided to ask him about it. Which, in retrospect, maybe wasn't the best idea. BUT I DID. I walked up to his desk as we were all leaving the room.

"Morning Al." Welp. Ice officially broken.

"Morning Meg," he yawned. He was so cute.

"How was your meeting?" I guess straightforward works as well as anything.

"Just swell. We know what we're bringing to the table at the conference today, and Ivan didn't sit on Matthew once, so I think it went pretty well." He beamed.

"That's awesome!" Was that too loud? Oh gosh he was wincing.

"Sorry, massive headache. You know."

I nodded. Of course I knew. Headaches are the bane of humanity. He stood up, and almost fell back down. I caught his arm to steady him. He smiled at me and mouthed 'thanks.' I wonder if he's hung-over. No, that's ridiculous! He's eighteen for Pete's sake! Not that that mattered to some people… but I didn't even have that much evidence. Why was I dwelling on this? "So is this," I made a point of gesturing to his semi-ridiculous getup, "Part of the meeting?"

"Yeah, I got home way late and didn't have time to change. And by way late I mean 5 o'clock in the morning. Maybe riding a whale to France wasn't the best idea…" he mumbled as we walked to our next class. He was definitely hung-over. Or maybe still drunk. (high was also a possibility) because whales. You can't ride a whale to France, it doesn't work that way!

However, this whole show was making me even more curious about him and these ridiculous meetings/conferences.

At lunch, Ruby told me that I needed to find out.

"How?"

"Easy. Follow him."

"Apparently he rode a whale to France. It's not going to be easy to follow him that way."

"But he also said it wasn't a good idea, so he's taking a different way this time, right?" Ruby did have a point. And now there was no way I was getting out of following him. Granted the idea of discreetly tailing him to a top-secret conference did have a certain thrill to it.

"Okay fine, I'll do it. But if I get murdered by his friends when they turn out to be mafia members, my death is on your head." I tried my best to smirk at Ruby, and she just rolled her eyes.

"You'll be fine. It can't be that bad," she insisted, patting me on the back.

I wasn't so sure.


	2. Chapter 2

(A/N) heeeyyy. so just a heads up, you've probably already noticed, but I don't write in accents. I think it's annoying to write and even more annoying to read. Sorry if you like that sort of thing, but it just aint happening here. Anywho, here's the new chapter, enjoy!

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><p>I'm not one to get anxiety. Sometimes before AP tests my heart will start pounding, but I really don't fret about things too much. So I really don't know where all of this unease is coming from. Maybe it's my subconscious telling me I'm a bad person for sneaking into someone else's personal life. I really shouldn't follow him. But, seeing as I am currently standing behind a tree listening to him talk to someone named "Tony" about getting a lift, I don't really have a choice. Well, maybe I do. It's going to be hard to sneak onto this vehicle of Tony's without Al seeing me. Maybe I just shouldn't try…<p>

Alfred loudly exclaimed, "Thanks!" and hung up. So now he was waiting for Tony. Waiting means he was more alert and NOT distracted by his conversation with Tony. Which means he might look my way. Which means he might ask why I'm lurking behind a tree. Which means I'll have no good excuse and I'll have to either tell him the truth or pretend lurking is normal for me and I just _happened _to be lurking near him. Yeah… basically I'm screwed.

Fortunately, Tony showed up. Except he showed up in a perfectly stereotypical UFO. And he's an alien. A little white alien with huge black almond-shaped eyes. I think Ruby spiked my coffee. I pinched myself, and it hurt, so I wasn't dreaming. I've never been high, how do you tell? Al was beaming, and he climbed aboard the UFO babbling some nonsense about how whales were so inconvenient and I'm just glad you came and picked me up. His back was to me, so I stepped out from behind the tree. How does one sneak aboard a UFO? The alien –Tony- made eye contact with me. I must have made some small eye or head movement because he nodded a little and pushed a button on his dash board of sorts. A flap opened in the body of the UFO.

Of course I'm not going to get in, normal people don't get into UFOs as they stalk a classmate to France, I thought as I climbed into the small space. Thank goodness I'm short.

The small vehicle took off. I mean, I couldn't see it take of or anything, but I could sure feel it. I don't quite know how to describe it. It was like there were rocket boosters on the floor, but I wasn't moving. Not it's- ugh. It's just a weird feeling. Also, Tony has a very strange language… that Al apparently understands. GO FIGURE.

Ten, (twenty?) minutes later we landed (give me a break, time is hard). I heard Al climb out, and then he must have walked away, because his little alien friend undid the latch on my door. Fresh, cool, rain-scented air flooded the compartment. I gulped it down, thankful to be rid of my own stench. I somehow climbed out, and turned back to the funny, little, white alien.

"Thanks," I said, smiling.

"Bitch," his voice was high and sounded sorta electronic-y, but I'm almost certain that's what he said. _Bitch._ Was he referring to me stalking his friend, (which was pretty bitchy, I'd have to admit) or was there something else…? I nodded sort of awkwardly and turned around to face my new surroundings.

How many places in the world speak French? Quebec, Canada, France, a couple places in Africa… there were way too many white people for this to be Africa (No offense people in Africa, there were just a lot of white people), and… it can't be France. I don't care who you are you can't fly from Florida to France in 15 minutes. It's not possible. Then again, it's equally as impossible to get to Canada in 15 minutes so… I really have no idea.

I scanned the crowed and saw Al walking into a large office-looking building. Thank goodness he was tall. I started making my way toward him and the building. I reached to door and glanced around, somehow I felt like I shouldn't be here. I mean, I shouldn't be here anyway, but I felt like I _shouldn't be here. _If that makes any sense. I grabbed the big, brass handle and tried to open the door as quietly as possible. Good thing, too. When I stepped inside and shut it softly behind me, I realized that the entryway was completely vacant. Where the hell was Alfred? My brain reverted to its natural state: logic. There were three doors in the entryway, not including the one I'd just come through, One to my left, one to my right, and one behind the vacant receptionist's desk. I couldn't have been more than 45 seconds behind Al. Due to the fact that he was on his way to a meeting, the door behind the desk was out of the running. The door on my right was farther from me, and if he'd used that one, it would have been (at the very latest) swinging shut as I walked it, right? So it had to be the left door. I knew I was taking a gamble, but I chose the left door.

Thankfully, I was right. I saw Al turning a corner at the end of the hallway. Trying not to make a sound, (which is very hard by the way) I hurried down the hallway after him. I peeked around the corner at the same time that a blond man stepped out of a side room next to Al. Thankfully, neither of them saw me.

"IGGY!" Al yelled, running toward him. Iggy? The name sounded vaguely familiar. Where had I heard it before…? The blond man turned around. He was cradling a large cat in his arms. The cat was sound asleep. And it was big. Not fat, per say, but big. Like, it just had a large frame or it was really fluffy or both. It was cream-colored and had a chocolate, incredibly fluffy, tail and collar. Al gasped. "AMERICAT!" so this was his cat…. OH. Iggy/England/Arthur/whatever the hell his real name is had his cat! I get it now…

The cat in (I guess Arthur's) arms woke up and swiveled its head around to look at Alfred. Upon seeing him it immediately struggled out of Arthur's arms and leapt into Alfred's where it began licking his face and purring loudly. "Ugh, your cat got hair all over me," Arthur said through a very strong British accent. So he was a Brit… He stared disdainfully down at his dark olive green… military uniform. What was with these people?

Al clapped his hand on his friend's shoulder. "It suits you," he teased. The shorter, blonder man glared at him.

"What are you even doing here? The conference doesn't start until nine. That's four in your time zone."

"Tony picked me up right after school, so now I'm here an hour early. I thought you would be impressed."

"I am, just… Tony? You mean alien Tony? America… I still have a hard time believing in him." Arthur shook his head. He… he just called Alfred "America" …why? What the hell was going on?

"You say that, and yet, flying mint bunny."

"Don't diss him!"

"I'm not! You've just actually met Tony before and you still doubt him." They'd started walking down the hallway. I started tiptoeing after them, but now I was in open territory. If either one of them looked back, I was dead meat.

"Yeah, but those were weird days."

"Pictonians invading the planet and turning everyone into themselves until we're the only ones left and we have to save the earth except we fail and then Italy ends up saving everyone with a marker isn't weird at all." Al said. Pictonians? And image flashed in my mind. White. Everything was white. Something green hummed in front of my face. But the image was gone before I could grasp it.

"Just be glad none of the humans remember that. AND IT WAS UTTERLY STRANGE."

Al laughed. "Only you would think so, England." There it was again. England. Gosh dammit why was everyone a country? I mean country names… I don't even know. Mostly I'm just confused.

"Yes, yes I would. Unlike you, I'm actually sane." I could've sworn the cat rolled its eyes.

"Sane? That's funny, England!" Al laughed loudly. Even his cat meowed in amusement. Also on the topic of the cat, I mean, I know people say that a pet and an owner can look similar, but this was uncanny. _The cat had glasses. _Well, not glasses, per say, but he had dark lines under his eyes in the same shape as Al's glasses.

"No it's not." Arthur/England groaned. "Idiot…"

"What was that?"

"Nothing."

"I don't think I believe you."

"You never do." England (oh gosh, am I really thinking of him under that name?) grabbed Al around the waist and pulled him against himself. Oh gosh. Oh gosh oh gosh. They weren't… together, were they? I didn't think Al was gay, he doesn't seem the type… but, there was evidence in front of me. I don't want him to be gay! Or bi… I guess that's better, but still weird. I really don't want these two to be together. Does that make me selfish or jealous or both?

"I haven't seen you in ages, it's nice," Al said.

"You saw me yesterday."

"Yeah, but the meeting was rushed and I had to leave right after."

"Only because you showed up two hours late."

"I can't help if whales are slow!"

"Of course you rode the whale." There was the whole whale thing again. Does that mean that he really did ride a whale to France? I would say that I was beginning to question if he was actually human, but now that I say that, I've really been questioning it all along. "You're an idiot," England said, smiling. (Okay I really need to find a name for him other than England because that BUGS ME)

"You're the only one who says that. Everyone else just says obnoxious."

"That's because you're my idiot," England said, kissing Al lightly on the cheek. I was internally screaming. I don't want them to be together! I really, REALLY don't want that! Also, Alfred was blushing something awful. His entire face was bright red.

"Iggy! You know my people aren't okay with that," he protested.

"Which is really frustrating," England/Arthur sighed. "Sometimes I'm sick of being governed by the views of my people, and I'm sick of trying not to get attached. I don't know how China does it." Both men looked sad. Very, very sad and very old. Not physically old, but … psychologically old. Like they were carrying more weight than they should. Also, there's another country used as a name, this time China. Maybe it was all one giant puzzle, and I just need more pieces to see how it all fits together.

"But hey, I'm almost 250," Al said, eyes shining. Was he talking about age? Like… 250 YEARS OLD?

"Technically you're almost 400, you did spend nearly 200 years as a colony."

"Yeah, but I don't count that."

"Should I feel insulted?" oh gosh, they were totally talking about age. And colonies. Didn't this 'England' call Alfred 'America'? America (the country) is almost 250 at this point… is that a coincidence or not? I don't know which would make me happier.

"Only if you want," Alfred smirked at his friend (if that's even an accurate statement at this point), who rolled his eyes. "So how's this guy been?" Al asked, gesturing with his head to the large fluffy cat that had fallen asleep on his shoulder.

"Surprisingly okay, despite being the embodiment of you," okay… I don't know why, but that didn't surprise me. Maybe I've been surprised one too many times at this point, because I just… the cat really did look like him.

"Oh, you know you love me," Al teased, nuzzling the Brit's ear with his nose. Oh gosh I can't. why…?

"No. fine. But why did _Prussia_ of all people tell me to bring your cat?"

"Cuz I went to lunch with him and Canada yesterday."

"Who?"

"Canada, my brother." HOLD UP JUST A SECOND. This explains SO MUCH. So if Gilbert's 'code name' is Prussia that explains his "Prrrr- Gilbert" fiasco when he introduced himself. And Matt being Canada explains (sort of) him talking about Canada like he owned it. Except not really because he still doesn't own Canada, right?

"Who?"

"Iggy, you raised him!"

"I did? Oh. Is he that kid I took from France but he still calls France 'Papa' to this day?"

Alfred sighed, "Yes, that's him." So… France was in the picture now. Wasn't Matt moaning about how "Papa" would be so disappointed in him if he lost Quebec? Seeing as Quebec is the French portion of Canada, that did make sense. But… but… was this some extremely elaborate LARPing game where everyone pretended to be a country? If it was, good for them and their authenticity. I mean, getting someone of each nationality to represent their country was quite impressive. I wonder how much of this takes place online.

"I haven't seen him in a while, how is he?" England asked.

"He was at the meeting yesterday!"

"Was he?"

"Yes!" they turned into a room. I peeked inside. It was a conference room, long table, lots of seats (LOTS of seats), and a blackboard at the front. "Hey, can I help with the drawings?" Al asked, bouncing up and down in excitement as the shorter man let fo of his waist and grabbed a piece of chalk.

"But you're terrible at drawing."

"Am not!" Alfred lunged at the brit and tried to grab the chalk out of his hand. The sudden movement startled his cat, who yelped and jumped into the air. It came down on England's face, and clutched his head for dear life.

England yelped in surprise. "AMERICA. Get your bloody cat off my face!" he demanded, trying to detach the fluffy creature from his head. Of course Al didn't help him, he was laughing too hard. I was also trying not to laugh; it would totally give me away. BUT IT WAS SO FUNNY.

"Dude, you look totally ridiculous!" Al exclaimed snatching the chalk out of his friend's flailing hand.

Still attempting to pry the squealing cat off his face, 'Iggy' yelled, "ALFRED YOU LITTLE SHIT HELP ME BEFORE I NUKE DC!" it could have been a coincidence, but that seemed to have an effect on the cat. He hissed and leapt off the Briton's face, landing (not so neatly) on the table. And that's the first time I've heard this guy use Al's real name. A break in character? But he was still talking about bombing DC… Damn, these guys were good. They must've been doing this for a LONG TIME. Is it possible to be a professional LARPer? Cuz if it is, then… _these guys_. I bet you could just film them and publish it as like, a TV series or something.

The brit, after realizing he was free of his fuzzy captor, ran to Alfred, who was busy drawing chibi faces on the board and labeling them as countries. He'd drawn himself the largest, and "England" and "France" (he was still working on that one) smaller underneath him.

"Dammit, you're doing it wrong," England said, pushing Al out of the way and erasing the board.

"Heeeyyyy, those were my master pieces!" I wouldn't exactly call them master pieces…

"Well, we're not even talking about that sort of thing today. We need to address more important issues."

"What's more important than me?"

"Russia invading Ukraine, North African uprisings, the entire Middle East, Japan and Germany's population drops, basically the rest of the world." England said flatly as he sketched out some (really cute) faces on the blackboard.

Al harrumphed and watched the Brit work. "What about the Italys? Isn't Romano fading or whatever?" two Italy reps. Cool beans.

England spun around to face Al. "Don't frakking say it so lightheartedly! I've known that kid since the middle ages, and though he's a point in the ass, I don't want him dead." The Brit was red in the face. This was one serious game if they were taking someone leaving as a "death." That is what's happening, right?

Al held his hands up defensively. "I don't want to see him go either. I'm just asking if we're going to do anything about it."

All the fire left England's frame. "We can't do anything. We… there's nothing we can do. We couldn't save Germania, we couldn't save Rome, France outright killed Holy Rome, there's just… he's going to be dead soon and we can't really stop it unless he becomes independent from his brother, which he'll never do." Al opened his arms and England fell against him, burying his face in Al's neck. Al held his (oh gosh do I dare think it?) boyfriend (OH GOSH NO. DON'T THINK LIKE THAT) against him, attempting to comfort him. Maybe this wasn't a game after all… maybe this kid really was dying. What the hell was really going on here?!

A door slammed shut, that much I could tell. It had to be coming from somewhere in the building, either the front door or the one leading into this hallway. And there's nowhere to hide. FRAK FRAK FRAKKING SHIT I'M SO DEAD. The hell do I do now? Voices were nearing me; it was definitely the hallway door I'd heard close. There were… two(?) of them. One was obviously Italian, and the other possibly German. Not Gilbert though, the voice was lower than his, and less chatty. The Italian was talking up a storm. And I didn't understand a word of it. Something about pasta. So I guess I did understand a word of it… but dammit they were close and I'd dead. deeeeeeaaaaaaad!

Al must have heard them coming because he kissed England on the head and pushed him off his shoulder. "Dude, you're a mess," He said, wiping tears off the Briton's face.

The voices were getting nearer. Was there another room I could duck into? I scanned the hallway frantically, and ducked into a door just as the two newcomers rounded the corner. Turns out I found the janitor's closet, but honestly, that's better than nothing. I left the door slightly cracked so I could see what was going on. It was a risk, but it was worth it.

The two newbies came into my line of view. One was really tall, with blond, gelled-back hair. The other was shorter with shaggy brown hair and this… random curl that stuck out about five inches off his hair. That only happens in cartoons, NOT REAL LIFE. HAIR DOESN'T LOOK LIKE THAT IN THE REAL WORLD. They walked into the conference room and I couldn't see them anymore, but the dialogue goes as follows:

Italian: "England! Are you crying?"

England: "I'm bloody well not!"

German: "Italy!" (So the Italian's 'name' is Italy? I guess that makes sense.)

Italy: "Sorry…"

Alfred: "It's okay; he was crying his eyes out."

England: "America you idiot! You can't just _say that to people."_

Italy: "Why were you sad?"

German: "Italy, stop pressing."

Italy: "Sorry Germany…" (That also makes sense)

Alfred: "He was-"

England: "AMERICA."

Alfred: "Okay I'll be quiet."

England: "Thank you."

Alfred: "-crying about Romano." Al's such a jerk…

Someone started crying. Hard.

Germany: "Dammit America, don't bring that up!" it had to be Italy that was crying, Alfred did say that it was the 'Italys' that had the problem, and this guy was called Italy… so was he dying or was it the other one? But Al just barely said "Romano" which was more of a name than a country.

Italy: (through sobs) "I don't (hic) want (hic) Romano to go! He's my (hic) brother! He can't leave just like everyone else!" the last few words were muffled, as if he'd been pulled into a hug and was speaking into fabric. Well at least the matter of who was dying was cleared up.

England: (shouting) "America, look what you've done!"

Alfred: "Whoa, chill! I didn't mean any harm."

Germany: "Of course you didn't. You never do. But you always end up frakking shit up anyway." Wow. Harsh. I wonder why people don't like Al… I think he's swell.

Italy: (crying is lighter) "It's okay. We're going to save him, right guys?"

Alfred: "Of course we are! That's what we're here for!" I could _hear_ the cheesy grin on his face.

England: "Um… yeah, we'll try."

Italy: "You guys are the best! Except you still scare me, Mr. England."

Germany: (Heavy sigh) "Italy, that was rude."

Italy: "I'm sorry." Is it just me, or does Germany kinda sound like Italy's mom?

England: "No, it's fine." Someone walked into my line of sight. I guess I didn't hear them coming because I was so focused on what was going on inside the conference room. The newcomer was a male in his late 20's who had nearly shoulder-length blond hair. He was in a rich blue (unnaturally stylish) uniform. He hesitated outside the door for a moment before sweeping (that's the only way to describe it) into the room.

Newcomer: "Ah, monsieurs, I see you've arrived before me." French. This guy was VERY OBVIOUSLY French.

England: "Oh great. It's you."

Germany: "France, I need to ask you something," he said that in very choppy French. His accent was way off, but oh well. Also, Frenchman was France.

France: "Anything." That was also in French.

Germany: "What language are we conducting this meeting in?"

France: "I would like everyone to speak French, but so few do."

England: "so we'll just all try and speak English, because that the most common, and everything will just end up being a bloody mess, just like usual."

Germany: (sigh) "I guess that works." (In English) This "language issue" could either mean they really did have someone from each nationality, or its just for authenticity and I don't know which is easier to believe.

Alfred: "I think English is swell."

England: "you don't speak English, you speak American. There's a bloody huge difference."

Alfred: "Not really." I don't know why it took me so long to realize it, but he wasn't speaking in the southern Floridian accent he usually did. It was more… New York-ish now.

Two more people were walking up now; at least, that's what it sounded like. I thought I heard four feet, but I'm not sure.

England: "Yes really. You've butchered my language!"

Germany: "Actually, it started as my language."

England: "That's not the point."

Two people walked into my line of sight, and I had to stifle a gasp because _hey look! I knew those two!_ Gilbert had his arm around Matt's shoulders, but dropped it once they got to the door. He probably would have grabbed Matt's hand at this point if Matt wasn't holding a small polar bear. What's up with that? Also, Gil had a yellow bird on his head. I'm not even going to question it.

"West! Look! You're awesome bruder is here!" Gilbert yelled as he and Matt walked in.

Germany: "I'm so glad you could make it, Prussia." Never before have I heard such intense sarcasm. "But why'd you come alone? Weren't you coming with someone?" but, but, Matt just walked in with him… that's someone!

Gilbert (Prussia, I guess): "I did come with someone, arschloch! He's right here."

Al: "Oh, hey Mattie!"

Matt: "America, you're not supposed to call me that…" Why? It's his name, isn't it?

Al: "oh, right. Sorry bro." Still brothers in this world? I guess it makes sense cuz Canada (if that's Matt's country name, I think it is) and America were neighboring British colonies, so why not stay brothers?

Germany: "America, why are there two of you?"

Matt: "I'm Canada." His voice was so quiet, I guess it's the curse of introversion. I should know.

Germany: "Who?"

Gilbert: "CANADA. He's the second-largest country, dammit, learn his name."

France: "Canada darling, it's been ages. How are you?" can I just… I don't even know. _Canada darling._

Matt: "I was at the meeting yesterday, Papa…"

France: "You were?"

England: "Apparently he was."

Matt: "mmmhmmm. But I'm doing well, thanks." He was so quiet. I can't even. This can't be the same kid I met yesterday. There's no way. Two more people showed up, this time both tall brunettes. The slightly taller one had a curl similar to Italy's except on the opposite side. Okay but seriously how even do people do that to their hair? It's not possible! The curl-ed one was scowling and obviously pretending that he wasn't, in fact, holding the other man's hand. Which he totally was. The other guy seemed like a sweet, chipper fellow. Okay but was everyone here gay? Really? There's just a lot of couples… some of them are rather cute, I mean, I don't know them, but it's cute… the newest couple walked into the room and entered the hectic conversation.

Italy: "Spain! Romano!" I'm guessing the guy with the curl is Romano, cuz he looks like Italy and apparently they're brothers.

There was a muffled yelp of surprise.

Italian accent, likely Romano: "Let go of me, you bastard!"

Someone laughed, then said, "Lighten up, Cariño, he's your brother." So that had to be Spain, and the other voice was Romano…

Another person showed up, this time obviously Asian. He had black hair cut neatly above his eyes, and he was looking very spiffy in his white military uniform. They were all in military wear. All of them. Also, this Asian kid was WAY attractive.

Alfred: "Japan's here!"

"Japan": "Yes, hello, the rest of Asia should be here shortly, and Taiwan apologizes for her not being able to make it." I had to strain to understand his accent, but apparently there were girls too. Female power!

Germany: "Then we're only waiting for them, the Nordics, South America, Australia if he decides to come, and … Austria."

England: "Basically, yes." They all started chatting among themselves and I really couldn't understand a word of it so… what now? Just wait and try to puzzle out what's going on I guess. Or why I was in a janitor's closet. There was always a janitor's closet in the stories, am I in a story no? With what's happening. I very well could be.

Hey look. Five more people just showed up. Three of them were blond, two were silvery-blond. All males. They were all walking very close together, but as they turned into the room I saw the tallest one holding one of the shorter one's hand. More gays. From inside I heard Alfred yell that "the Nordics" were here. How many Nordic states are there…? Denmark, Swe, fin, Ice, Nor… yeah that works. Makes sense and all.

Four more people followed them almost immediately after. This time there were two females along with the two males. They were walking in pairs, the first consisted of a tall brunette man in some variety of formal, Victorian-looking outfit. The girl walking next to him had waist-length, honey-brown hair. She was in a turquoise-blue military uniform, and her arm was linked through his. They really didn't look like siblings, so I guess not everyone was gay. The other two were both blond, this time the man (who was decently short, but not midget-like) was in the military uniform while the female was in a … not Victorian, but maybe late 19th century dress. These two could have been siblings, but I don't know. He was too scowl-y in comparison to her pleasant expression.

The next two to show up, well, one looked like a rapist (I blame the mask. You can't wear a mask and NOT look like a rapist, unless you're Wesley from the Princess Bride) and the other was a crazy cat lady but a guy. Let's just say that he had at least three cats on his person. They were arguing, cat-man looking very concerned and the tall rapist almost laughing at the other man's misery. There was a small outcry form the people inside the conference room when those two entered. Something like, "Japan, your boyfriend's here!" to which the Japanese accent replied, "I'm a heterosexual man, I am not attracted to Greece-san." There was a lot of laughter following that comment. I smiled to myself, these guys were pretty funny. If they had any openings, maybe I could join them.

From down the hallway, there was a loud crashing as the door slammed against the wall and a crowd (it had to be. There were so many voices) walked in all (or most) yelling in foreign oriental-sounding languages. They quickly came into view. I didn't have time to count them all, but they were all cute little Asians. I mean, most were visibly older than me, but… Asians. Following the hard was a man with a panda in a basket strapped across his back. He had a long ponytail, and his sleeves drooped over his hands. I don't quite know how to explain it, but he kinda looked like the other Asians' mom. Not that he looked like a girl, (which he kinda did) but just that air of 'why do I even put up with them?' He was walking slower than the other mob of Asians who'd already disappeared into the conference room. Just as he was about to step out of my line of vision, a voice called out to him.

"Yao!" the Asian stopped as both he and the panda looked back down the hallway.

"Ivan! Russia what's wrong?" 'Yao' asked as a tall, silvery-blond man ran into him. The newcomer was wearing a long, white coat and an even longer scarf that piled around his shoulders and hung down to nearly his feet. He crashed into the small Asian man and hugged him tightly. Well, maybe hug wasn't quite an accurate description. The taller man, Ivan/Russia was holding onto 'Yao' extremely tightly, it almost seemed to be out of fear. "Ack! Get off me, Aru!" the Asian spluttered, attempting to push the large Russian man off of him.

"It's Belarus!"

"Of course it is. You're family if frakking messed up. Get off me." The Asian finally managed to push Ivan off of him. "Your sisters are coming, right?"

"Yep, they're right behind me."

"Great. Let's get inside before they show up." The two walked away. Seeing as there weren't any countries named 'Yao' that had to be his real name, like Alfred. I wonder what country he is. China maybe, going from the motherly air about him.

They disappeared and were shortly followed by two women. They were both blonde, though the tall one kept her hair short, and the short one kept hers at nearly waist-length. The shorter one was scowling, and she just looked really scary. Like, I wouldn't want to meet her in a dark alley. The taller one… looked almost tormented. I don't quite know how to describe it. Also, her boobs were big beyond all comparison. I didn't think that was possible, but lo and behold, it is. Go figure. Maybe those two were Russia/Ivan's sisters. They all did look a bit alike, they could pass as siblings. That is, if they weren't already siblings. This whole thing was really looking like a family affair.

My head was beginning to hurt, so I backed away from the door into the darkness of the closet. My mind was racing at about a million miles an hour, and I had no idea how to stop it. Granted, I didn't really want to. But I seriously needed to figure some shit out. Okay so. Alfred, his brother and a bunch of other people (mostly guys) were at a top secret (or mostly secretive, top secret just sounds cooler. FOCUS, MEG) meeting/conference right now. They all had different countries of origin and were representing their own country, or at least being called by their country's name rather than their own name. In of itself, that's a lot of work to go to for an RPG, but some people were psychotically dedicated, so it's still an option. Um… on the topic of the conference, they're actually talking about real-world issues, aren't they? Or at least that's the impression I got from England's rant. If this was a game, and everyone was getting together from across the frakking world, somehow I doubt they'd stay very on-topic.

And when I ate lunch with Gil, Matt and Al yesterday (oh gosh, it was only yesterday? That feels like an eternity ago)… SO MUCH ABOUT THAT CONVERSATION MAKES SENSE. If Gil is Germany's brother, and the "it's not WWII anymore," and OH MY GOSH THAT WAS A VALID COMEBACK. DUDE THAT'S HILARIOUS. FOCUS for frak's sake. Okay… but the slip-ups. Gil almost calling himself Prussia, Matt blatantly saying England instead of Arthur, that seems odd to me. I can understand slipping up while in character and calling someone by their real name, but slipping up and saying your country name while out of character….

WAIT A SECOND.

What if they were 'in character' while they were talking to me? What if they're out of character now? And by that I mean what if this is who they really are? Like their country names are their FIRST NAMES, and any other humanified name is a secondary name to cover up their existence? No that's bullshit. BUT IT TOTALLY MAKES SENSE. If they're legit personified countries then it would make sense that England stole Canada from France and raised him. It would make sense that they all get together every so often to discuss world issues and actually stay on topic, because they're just talking about themselves and their lives. It makes sense that Al showed up out of nowhere to attend a year of high school. He couldn't stay, first because of the inconvenience to friends, second because he wouldn't grow or age, would he? I mean, you can't be 250 years old and look 18 without some measure of immortality.

But that's just a theory, there's no way countries can actually be personified as people. That's to surreal to actually exist. Right? Right?!

Maybe I just don't want it to be true.

But that's ridiculous. It would be frakking amazing to be friends with a country.

The door closed. Like, the door to the conference room. I glanced at my watch. 4:16. It's been an hour already? Wow… but the meeting was supposed to start at four, wasn't it? So… it probably just started. I peeked out of the crack in the door of the janitor's closet. The hallway was empty, and the voices inside the conference room were muffled. I gently pushed the door open and glanced around before stepping out of the dark, stuffy closet. No one was coming. I tiptoed over to the door and peeked in the little window. A crap ton of people were sitting around the table, while Alfred stood at the head and talked enthusiastically. I couldn't hear what he was saying, but a lot of people had kill-me-now expressions. I recognized some of the people sitting around the table, but it took me a while to find Matt. Who was being sat on by Ivan/Russia. Didn't Al say something about that…?

I was busy trying to identify the ones I recognized and watching people arguing (that was entertaining. Especially Gilbert trying to get Ivan off of Matt, and France and Spain causing shenanigans) that I didn't hear someone walk up behind me.

"Like, who the hell are you?" I jumped and spun around. The guy looking at me was short and blond and wearing a dress. Freaking cross-dressers.

"Um… well... I'm…" I stuttered. I really, REALLY wasn't expecting this and oh gosh I've been found and oh gosh they were going to kill me, weren't they? And oh gosh I'm a dead man! (Woman?)

"Well if you're not going to tell me, then I like, totally don't want to know." Pratty? Check. "Why are you like, snooping?"

"Because-"

"I don't even care." He turned away from me and opened the door. I was too late to move. All eyes were on me and the blond guy, all mouths agape. "I don't know her," he said, sassily flipping his hair as he walked into the room.

"Meg?" Al asked. I'm royally screwed.


	3. Chapter 3

The stunned silence came to an abrupt halt as Alfred was bombarded with questions.

"You know her?"

"Who is she?"

"AMERICA, WHAT DID YOU DO?"

"Did you get a pet or something?"

"America, who is she?!"

The blond German, "Germany" I guess, stood up and slammed his hands on the table as he yelled, "SILENCE!" the frantic chatter in the room came to a crashing halt. "Danke," his annoyed voice stressed the near-sarcasm of the word. Which probably meant thank you. That made sense, at least. He turned to Alfred, "America, who _is _this?"

Al looked suddenly flustered. I wanted to say something to defend him and myself, but at this point anything I said would have just made everything about a million times worse. So I just stood there. Awkwardly. "She's a … classmate," Al said, glancing at me questioningly.

"You brought one of your human friends to a world meeting? What were you THINKING?!" England yelled, standing up to meet Al's eyes.

"I didn't bring her, she's a stowaway. I had no idea she was here!"

"But you're not denying she's a friend," the 'motherly' Asian said. Wasn't his name Yao?

"If this is another Joan of Arc situation…" England warned.

"Haven't I told you not to bring that up?" the Frenchman (France, I guess) said. He looked quite distressed. But how do Joan of Arc and I relate? She was a French soldier-general who was killed by the English and I'm a school girl living in suburban Florida.

"She's only a friend, nothing more!" Al insisted. I think I just got friend-zoned. And things were going so well yesterday…

"She had better be only a friend," England muttered. Okay but seriously how does all this friend-zoning stuff relate to Joan of Arc? And why was France so offended at the mention of her name? I mean, seeing as she was the glory of France, doesn't that mean he would like her…?

Oh.

Oh I get it.

Oh man, that's horrible. The poor guy!

"She is, I promise. Right Meg?" Al turned to me hopefully.

"Uh… yeah. Yeah that's right. Just friends." My glorious stutter was such a great way to introduce myself to these people. Just simply glorious. Also I'd just sealed my own friend-zoning. Ouch. Now I know how guys feel.

"Well, what are we going to do with her?" Germany asked to the crowd of people-countries. You know, considering they're all still perfectly 'in character' I'm just going to go with the psychopathic theory that they're all personified countries and 100's of years old. Okay? Okay. Everyone avoided eye contact with the tall, German man. So he turned to me. "How much do you know?"

How does one even answer that? "Uh… well… it depends on what you're asking." My voice squeaked toward the end, making that sound more like a question and me more like an idiot.

"How much do you know about us?"

"Um well…" I don't even… just start listing off your theories, Meg. That's a good place to start. "I know that you all represent countries and you're at a meeting and…" goshdammit I sound like an idiot. "Well I suspect that you're all well, human personifications of sorts of your countries and you're all very old and lonely, and I am just sounding like an idiot so I'll stop talking now." I said that out loud, didn't I? Oh frakking well. I'm doomed anyway.

"How long have you… when and how did you get here?" England asked.

"I showed up with Alfre- America." That just sounds weird. I like Alfred much better. "Tony gave me a ride."

"The little bastard…" Al muttered. Tony was probably going to get an earful. That is, if he had ears.

"Well you know way too much. We haven't had to- RUSSIA, GET YOUR HANDS OFF OF UKRAINE." The German shouted. All attention turned from me to the tall, silvery-blond man who had his arms firmly around a blond woman with absurdly large breasts. I think I remember seeing her walk in. the people closest to those two were trying desperately to pull the large man off of her. Others rushed to them, and it very quickly became a mob of arms and shouting. Among the most common things that were shouted were: "Russia let GO," "She's your sister, dammit, this is just weird," "BELARUS JUST STAY OVER THERE," and "Are you made of iron or something?" Al was at the forefront of the battle, grinning, yelling orders, and trying to get between the two. After about a minute, everyone looked just as annoyed with Al as they did with Russia. Which is saying something. I almost decided to get involved, but the odds that I would die in battle were high, so I voted to be Switzerland. (Neutrality forever!)

Finally Alfred, Yao (ponytail Asian), France, England, and Germany were able to pull the two apart. Then the girl, Ukraine, was taken across the room to the other side of the table.

Alfred resumed his position at the head of the room. "what were we talking about again?" he glanced around, "OH YEAH. We were just discussing how I'm going to heroically save the world from Global Warming!" what even…? Clearly the other people in the room were having similar thoughts.

"You can't save anyone from Global Warming." –England

"America, you're the one who _caused _global warming." –Angry Italian (I think it's Romano…)

"How are _you_ ever going to save anyone?" –some Asian, I don't know them though…

"China's twice as bad as me; he uses coal by the tons!" –Alfred

"Well, he still owes me several trillion dollars, so who's really on top here?" – Yao (Ponytail Asian) answered. I guess he's China. Cool beans.

_Cue collective "OH BURN," gasp. _

"China-san has a point," Japan pointed out.

"Yeah, well, um…" Al stammered.

"Any day now would be great," China flashed a smile-smirk hybrid thing in Al's direction. Daaaaang he was good. I guess 4,000+ years can have that effect.

"We aren't even on topic," Germany said.

"For once I agree with the potato bastard." Romano said. "England, can't you work some wacky voodoo shit that will make her forget all this?"

"Yes, technically I can but-"

"But killing her would be much easier, da?" Russian said, pulling a water pipe out of frakking nowhere. And that's not mentioning the smile on his face. I was terrified. That guy was scary as hell.

"Um, I'd rather not die if I don't have to," I stuttered. So many psychopaths. I'm going to die here and no one will find my body because I'm in frakking France.

"Good point. It'd be too messy to clean up," England pointed out. Why did I ever agree to tail Alfred to this meeting?

"We are getting nothing done," Germany sighed.

"Yeah, but this is funny." Gilbert argued.

"I have to agree," Spain said. (Well, I think that's his name. He is a Spaniard.)

"Well we need to do something with her," the angry Italian said. (I forgot his name. don't kill me, there are a lot of people here.) Everyone in the room started arguing loudly, all fighting to be heard above the noise. It was deafening. Amidst the chaos, Matthew remained seated at the table, holding his little polar bear and smiling absent-mindedly. At the opposite end of the table the crazy cat man had fallen asleep. I'm not quite sure how that was possible, but I mentally commended him for his incredible feat.

Germany once again stood up and slammed his hands on the table. "SHUT UP, ALL OF YOU!" this guy meant buissness. He was pretty cool. Maybe a little scary, too. The talking in the romm came to a screeching halt. "I know I've had to say this at EVERY WORLD MEETING but since I'm the ONLY ONE here with any sense, we're doing things MY WAY." He looked around the conference room. No one bet his eyes. Even I stared down at my feet when he looked my way. "Meg." he remembered my name. That's probably not a good thing.

"Yes?" I squeaked. My voice was failing me. His wasn't exactly a good thing.

"You've got two options. Either we kill you, or we wipe your memory and you don't remember any of this."

"I don't like those options, Germany!" the happy Italian whined.

"You're not supposed to like them," Germany said.

"Italy does have a point, there is another option," Japan mentioned, much to my relief. Seventeen is a bit young to die, no?

"And what would that be?" one of the male Asians scoffed.

"I suppose she could just sort of join us," Spain suggested.

"But she's _human,_" England said, quite obviously horrified. And that right there confirmed the suspicion that they were not, in fact, human.

"Does no one remember Charles V?" Spain sighed.

"Yeah, but he only knew because he was the king of Spain and the Holy Roman Emperor all in one," England said.

"Don't mention Holy Rome! It gives Germany headaches," Happy Italy said, worriedly glancing at the blond German.

"Basically all I'm saying is that Charles was a special case and Meg is, well, ordinary." England looked around the room, and much to my dismay, most of the people seemed to agree with him.

"We can't kill her, she's my friend and she is very special!" Alfred was defending me. He was just so sweet, I can't even.

"I agree. England, how fast can you have a memory erasure spell ready?" the brunette in the Victorian get-up asked. His accent was also German, but it seemed different somehow. Austrian maybe?

"Austria, be more sensitive. She's just a girl," the woman sitting next to him protested. I think she's the same one who came in with him. And I was right in my Austria assumption, so yay me!

"Maybe ten minutes if I want to get technical," England answered, his eyes running up and down my body. I suddenly became self-conscious and folded my arms over my chest.

Germany nodded, "Get on it then."

"Nooo! We can't, it would be mean!" Happy Italy protested, grabbing onto Germany and squeezing him tightly.

"Italy is right, it would be cruel," Spain said, looking genuinely concerned.

"But it's the only way to keep our secret."

"Not necessarily. If she can keep a secret," France looked at me expectantly, "Then maybe she can stay." He smiled at me. Genuinely. It was really sweet, like almost heart melting.

"That means you can't tell Ruby any of this," Al smiled.

"I won't." Wait. "Wait, how…?"

Al smirked at me. I guess that's my answer.

I swallowed. "I promise."

"Sweet!" Al grinned and pulled me into a hug.

"Hold up, nothing's final." China piped in.

"Maybe it will be nice to have someone sane around," England sighed, pointedly glaring at France.

"But her chance of death increases exponentially," one of the blond Nordics said almost sadly.

"this isn't making any sense…" I muttered to myself. I was sure no one heard me, but Gilbert jumped to his feet.

"Y'hear that? Poor girl has no idea what we're talking about."

"Gilbert what are you even talking about-"

"Hush West. This is a job for your Big Bruder." Gil turned to me, "Basically we can't really associate with humans because if we develop and attachment then said human dies very horribly. Also you have a really high chance of dying/going insane when you're with us. Take Charles V for example. That guy was pretty awesome. Not like me, but nearly there. He retired early and hid in a monastery just to get away from us. So, should you choose to stay, beware of us," He smirked, trying to put a light air on what he'd just said, but I could see pain in his eyes.

"Can I," was this really a good idea? Did I really want to spend the rest of my life with these psychos? "Can I choose to stay?" apparently I was choosing to join this cult. Great. I'm so frakking smart.

"I suppose. As long as you don't mind living a life of lies," England said, absent-mindedly glancing around the room.

"And you can't be half-way either. This is an all-in or all-out situation," Germany said, his blue eyes seemingly boring into my soul.

I nodded quickly, trying to say that yes, I understand the stipulations and stakes. Clearly I came across, because Happy Italy jumped up, bounded over to me and hugged me. "Yay! I love new friends!" he squealed, spinning me around. I know I'm not tall and don't weigh a lot, but that kid is a lot stronger than he looks. He picked me up clean off the ground and spun in circles. It was a strange experience to say the least.

I don't know when he got there, but Germany came out of nowhere and grabbed Italy off of me. My feet hit the ground and in my incredibly dizzy state I side-stepped into Alfred, who caught me by the arm.

"Dude, you okay?"

"Yeah, just dizzy," I responded, rubbing my temples in an attempt to make the world stop spinning. It didn't really work.

"Well, if she's going to stay with us then I suppose we should introduce ourselves," One of the Asians said. I think he was Japan… I'm not even sure of anyone's name anymore.

"Good plan. Hi Meg, I'm America!" Alfred beamed.

"Yeah, I got that…" I muttered.

"I'm the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland," England said.

"But we just call him England," Alfred said.

"And I'm France,"

"I'm China,"

"I'm Russia,"

"I'm the awesome Prussia!"

"You're not even a country anymore, bruder."

"Don't burst my bubble, Westie."

Germany sighed, "And I'm Deutchland,"

"He means Germany," Al said, flashing a sigh at Germany.

"You're the only one who calls me that."

"Actually I'm not the only one."

The people around the table continued introducing themselves, and I can honestly say that after a while, everyone just looked the same. Basically I don't remember most of that. Other than they totally skipped Matthew. I almost pointed it out, but I didn't get around to it because Al started talking again.

"We don't expect you to remember all of them," he gestured to the room of country-people, "only me, the hero!"

England groaned.

Then someone burst into the room. The newcomer was a tall, freckled, pasty white ginger.

England groaned again.

"Go home, Scotland."

"Why?" He already seemed like a cocky bastard.

"Because you're not even a country," England looked exasperated, like he'd done this one too many times. Which he probably had.

"I would be if SOMEBODY didn't think they were the greatest damn country on the planet," he said, smoothly grabbing a chair, sitting in it, and kicking his feet up onto the table.

"I gave you the chance! YOU voted against your own independence, NOT me."

"Doesn't mean I don't hate you just as badly."

"Well then why didn't you become independent?"

Scotland shrugged, "Didn't feel like it."

England sighed and buried his face in his hands. "I give up." Quite frankly, I don't blame him.

"So, who's the new chick?" Scotland asked, gesturing to me. Thankfully I was saved from answering. (or maybe not so thankfully)

"Meg. She's America's new plaything." One of the Asians said. He's the one the spoke earlier, and looks like the youngest of them. Snarky bastard.

"Oh ho ho," suddenly interested, Scotland smirked mischievously. "You going to kill this one too, Artie?"

"It's not like that!"

"What? No, I'm certainly not!" England spluttered at the same time Al tried to defend himself. As of yet, I couldn't decide if I had made a smart decision in joining the crazies. My life would never be dull again, that's for sure.

_~Fine~_

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><p>(AN) there is more in store for Meg and her adventures with all the countries, so if you liked this, please follow me and you'll know when the next one comes out! That sounds so much like a Youtube subscribe plea its pretty sad... um. thanks for reading, you guys are all super swell!


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